A bitter composition of an anti-social loser with no specific ambition in life or in this passage

Experiences are invaluable. A few days of practical experience can teach you a lot more about the ways to survive in life than years of schooling and college education. What you learn in your vocational pursuits is rather a generalized version of the collective experiences of human lives. It’s kind of a conclusion derived from a general study of a sample of people with (and in many cases without) diverse backgrounds and incumbent social, psychological and physical conditions. You are forced and cajoled in a rather subtle and more often than not in subconscious way to believe that those are the doctrines a person should live by in order to achieve the perfect nirvana in life. Though you may keep on wondering why aren’t things working out the way they are supposed to under any given conditions, you have those “words of wisdom” floating in the back of your head that “everything happens with a purpose” which prevents you from outright secession from established norms!
Another effect of these established concepts and beliefs is that you judge your character/ nature based on the rules set down by them. You are taught that there are these certain qualities you got to posses to be called “good” .Similarly there would be certain “bad” qualities which would certainly improve your chances for the guillotine. And all your life you forced to suffer the dizzying confusion on deciding whether you’re good or bad. Every one of us loves to be loved. We want people around us– we form associations, we join clubs. All these just for gaining those “strokes”. And to collect them you need to be “good” – coz that’s the rule!! And so you try hard to maintain your goodness quotient all the time. But somehow after the initial high from the strokes we receive from our “social interactions” subsides, we are again haunted by the question plaguing the mind of the rational human being –“why do I exist? For what do I do all the things that I do?” Disturbing realizations like you are left with no individuality of your own dawn upon you. You start with being skeptical, then move onto getting mad and finally give up uttering sarcasm and leading the rest of your life as social outcast for being “bad”. A more “practical” option is just to stop thinking and keep doing what everybody else around you is doing.
However if you are one those fools who don’t learn the ways to conduct oneself in this world and have been discarded by society as useless and a nut head you start philosophizing – mainly because you haven’t got much else to do. You start by asking what is the authenticity of these rules that we are taught to abide by. For example you are told that leading a monogamous life is good and a promiscuous adulterer is one of the most heinous creatures whose source of creation if traced back to even Lucifer would make the poor anti-God squirm in agony and shame. So most of us try our level best avoid multiple courtships and are prompt at delivering apt punishment to those who dare to violate our beliefs. But then again we are intrigued by the life led by “the achievers” whose lives almost invariably rotate around multiple romantic liaisons. Well we have our explanations – the extra-naturals so very rightfully are allowed some eccentricities. Not bringing in the question of equality, this might serve as an acceptable explanation. But how shocked and amazed are we when we see occasional revelation of men and women ,happily united in wedlock with loving families and delightful kids and pets ,caught red handed in a prostitute/gigolo’s arms and further investigations prove that the incident wasn’t an isolated one but rather a regular habit of the indicted. Even in the face of stark reality, we keep on denying the facts about true human nature and find solace in assuming that “everyone doesn’t fool around”! May be one of the reasons of this self imposed ignorance is that we fear that once we start acknowledging that certain “bad” things do exist in this world, we may suddenly start “discovering” those traits in our near and dear ones and worse - within ourselves.